The Dad Beat: Power to the Poppas

Monday, May 01, 2006

Power to the Poppas

I love moms. And I hope most of you do too. I met a guy named Joel not long ago who had the most unique approach to his birthday I've ever heard. I wanted to hug Joel when he told me that each year on his birthday he actually sent his mother a card, thanking her for giving birth to and caring for him. Aw, shucks, Joel.

That aside, articles like this one will never be found at dadbeat: Great Baby Products that Make Mom’s Life Easier. It may be a well written, informative piece. Hell, it could be up for a Pulitzer Prize, but what's the point if, before I take a sip of my Earl Grey the first thing I read is about how to make Mom's life easier. Does this author not know of a single male parent that might find her store's products useful?

Whether you're at the bookstore or the library, shopping for formula, or watching television, it's always the same story: Moms are parents, dads are, well... not present. It would seem that dads are to moms what Andy Richter was to Conan O'Brian -- which is to say, a goofy side kick.

Don't dads read stories to their children? Don't we feed our children? Care for them? Love them? This is my message to Tide, Pampers, Penguin books and the rest of you: Don't underestimate the spending power of dads.

Now get out there and write a kids' book.

Top Pop Tips

1. Take your kid to the central library in your city, or town. The child section there is likely to filled with all sorts of activities for kids, not just books. Most libraries put on events for kids, too, such as story telling, exhibitions and short plays. Plus, the kids section at the library happens to be filled with attractive, single parents, just like you.

2. Tell your kids what the plan is by numbers. “Here’s what we’re going to do today. You put the pillows on the bed. I’ll make the bed. I’m having a shower. You play. Then I’ll make breakfast. Then I need an hour to work. Then we’ll go for a bike ride.” Etc, Etc. Remind them throughout the day what’s coming next. That way there are no surprises. And that way you give them a little power – the power of knowledge.

3. Today, try to not say, “No.” Telling your kids “no” repeatedly throughout the day sets the stage for disappointment, which often leads to resentment, temper tantrums and heavy drinking. Instead, work on giving your kids options. When 5 year old Trianna asks, “Can I go bungie jumping from the CN tower?” you could answer, “Sure, if you can find Superman to go with you.” Or, “Absolutely, but first let’s go get your drivers license.” A little distraction never hurts either.

4. Ignore people who say “Don’t be your child’s friend – be their parent.” Be BOTH. If you are not a friend to your kid, they won’t confide in you when it matters. And once that starts… you’ve probably lost them. It’s about trust from their first thinking moments to the time you kick the bucket. Whatever you do, don’t screw that up.

5. When disciplining your child(ren), think carefully about the consequences you set. If they’re ridiculously tough, you’re either being a jerk or you’ll probably end up backing down from the consequence. If you back down from a consequence you’re setting a terrible precedent. By about the age four your kids should know how to determine their own consequences – they’re usually right on the money. Once you do that, you 1) get them thinking, 2) make them learn the consequence 3) show them respect.

The Dad Beat

Monday, May 01, 2006

Power to the Poppas

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